Single News: John Mayer – “Shadow Days” & Madonna – “Girl Gone Wild”

What do Madonna and John Mayer have in common? Well, nothing really. But they both released new songs today and neither are interesting enough to warrant their own post. So they get grouped together here so when I half-ass my reviews of both of them it’ll still look like I gave 100%. For Mayer, “Shadow Days” is his lead single from upcoming album Born & Raised. “Girl Gone Wild” serves as Madonna’s follow-up to the mediocre “Give Me All Your Luvin'” from her album MDNA.

I sort of hate John Mayer and nothing about “Shadow Days” does a thing to change that. It begins a lifeless waltz and never builds up from it. The whole song is just an uneventful nonstarter. I guess it’s a great go to if you’re an insomniac or out of Xanax. Eventually the song peters out by way of an extended instrumental and dissolves into the nothingness of white noise.

On a scale from “worst song ever, kill me now” to “its beauty makes me weep with joy”: it’s not that awf;klziwzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Madonna’s Super Bowl performance proved that even at 53 years old, she’s still a better entertainer than most of the current pop scene. It’s a good thing too, because “Girl Gone Wild” is just aggressively bland. It’s a completely uninspired dance track without any particularly interesting elements. I mean, it’s Madonna and it’s formulaic club music so I’m sure the song will have its fair share of supporters but I almost feel bad calling it average. It is average, though. And decidedly so.

On a scale from “may it be swallowed up by the depths of hell and never let out” to “in a thousand years, people will be praying to this CD”: it will contribute to your pulsing headache in a club

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